lornamatic

Faceography.

We really miss you, over here across the pond.

Last weekend, I observed a bird banding session at Zuma Canyon, in Malibu. The banders had just begun doing Avian Influenza testing on songbirds, as the Pacific Flyway is believed to be the most likely potential entry point for H5N1 in the United States.

To band a bird, you must first capture a bird, and the way to do this is by stringing up fine nets, called mist nets. They resemble somewhat longer, finer volleyball nets in construction and size. Birds cannot see the nets and become trapped until the banders retrieve them.

Watching the bird banding was lots of things: educational, overwhelming, fasinating and frustrating. I have always adored birds, and it is difficult to witness wild animals caught up in nets, no matter how good the reasons are for doing it.

Here are some photographs from the event:

It’s the Venice Artwalk and silent auction, this Saturday and Sunday. Proceeds benefit the Venice Family Clinic, largest free clinic in the country.

Sidney Pollack’s Sketches of Frank Gehry is playing all over LA (showtimes).

Blueprint Furniture’s semi-annual parking lot sale, Saturday and Sunday, 10 - 6pm.

If you’d rather tromp around outside you have your choice:

Healthebay’s Nothin’ But Sand monthly beach cleanup is happening at Venice Beach, Venice at Rose Avenue. Saturday, May 20, from 10:00 am- noon

Or you could help clear Stone Canyon Creek, also Saturday, at 9:30 am. Details at the BirdsofWestwood site. They also need some help with a bird count.

At first, a Corvette would suffice. But in this neighborhood, even Bentleys are a dime a dozen.

Now, “we only film it if it’s worth over $200,000,” said Spyder’s 9-year-old brother, Dash.

You know how Ventura Boulevard has an endless, continous non-repeating pattern of the same set of stores? It’s like, Ralph’s, Starbucks, Target, Subway, 76, Taco Bell, McDonalds… then a few industrial looking buildings, and the pattern repeats again? I’ve always thought Ventura Boulevard was a lot like Pi, that way. All the same ten numbers, but with endless variation in pattern. At least until you hit, well, Ventura.

Montana Avenue in Santa Monica is kinda that way too, except instead of Ralph’s and Starbucks, the pattern is: bath soaps store, women’s clothing store, lunch place, jewelry store, foofy grocery store, children’s clothing store, stationers. It caters to the upper-crust urban Mom. There’s a word that describes Montana Ave pretty well. The word is “estrogeneric.”

Anyway.

So Mike and I were walking along Montana Avenue, discussing parking, and he’d been at the meter for just a little longer than the allowable 2 hours. I said that since he’d been there for about ten minutes too many, I had no doubt the parking mafia had marked his tires and he was going to be totally BAGGED.

A man walking past suddenly yelled “BITCH!”

There wasn’t anyone else around. He was yelling at me.

Wait. What’d I do?

I turned to look at the angry man. He was wearing a white mesh tanktop with a super fabulous billowy white jacket. Perfect haircut. Perfect abs. Perfect example of all that is both wonderful (and from the perspective of the fairer sex, tragic) about West Hollywood.

Super fabulous.

And he just called me a b-i-t-c-h, just after I said Mike was going to be BAGGED - maybe a little too loudly… but what could possibly merit that response?

Oh. My. God.

He must have heard me say a VERY different word.

Did he actually think I said that? He thought I shouted THAT? At HIM?

Oh.

Oh, no. No, no, no!

Now what? Should I run after him and explain? Just exactly how DO you explain that train of thought? Should I be mortified? I think I just really ruined someone’s day. Without even meaning to.

Fabulous White-Mesh Tanktop Man, if you’re out there, that’s not what I said. I’m not happy you thought that’s what I said, but the thing I’m REALLY not happy about is that it was an easy assumption that someone would yell that word, at all. Does that kind of thing happen on Montana? With the $800 stroller-pushing, yoga mama set?

Moral of the story: sometimes what you think you heard? Not what you heard. And if you’re easy to offend, please make sure you get your hearing checked regularly, especially before shouting bad things at other people. Especially before shouting bad things at ME.

And GOOD LORD! People of Los Angeles: It’s not always about YOU.

Not even if you’re really REALLY fabulous.