triggered finger
(steno: narrowing, contracting) + (teno: tendon) + [(syn: with)+(ovi: egg) == (synovium: the soft tissue surrounding your joints and tendons)] + (itis: inflammation)
It started about three months ago. After painting for several hours, my hand would feel warm and sore. I took ibuprofen. I stopped using my blackberry. I started painting less, taking longer breaks. Stopped writing email, stopped blogging, mostly stopped using a computer at all. My primary activity was limited to begging the secretaries of hand surgeons if they please could PLEASE find some time, within the next two months.
And then almost a month ago, I stopped painting. I could paint with my left hand, which was really much better than you’d think, but that was my only usable hand, and was usually too fatigued. For me, stopping painting was a lot like what people go through quitting cigarettes. It wasn’t pretty.
The whole time, I don’t know: Is it just a boo-boo, or is it a degenerative joint disease? At this stage of my life I’ve cleared out my calendar to pursue art full-time, really just discovered how much I love painting, and now I can’t even pick up a paintbrush. For the first time, self doubt hit me hard. Was this whole art plan a big mistake? I just bought enough paint and canvas for the next 3 months. Will I ever use it? Am I going to be able to paint again? How about put my own hair in a ponytail?
Monday of this week I finally saw a hand surgeon. Diagnosis: Stenosing Tenosynovitis. Trigger Finger. The short version is there’s some kind of extra tissue that built up on my A1 pulley tendon, and it became inflamed and painful. It’s probably the very best outcome I could have hoped for. The doctor gave me a cortisone injection, which inflated my finger like a water balloon, some reassuring words, and sent me on my way.
Tuesday of this week, I went back to one of my drawing classes. It was still too early to try and draw, so I though I’d observe. I left angry and early when I couldn’t take the sympathetic looks. Like I am a little bird with a broken wing, and everyone but me knows that I will never fly again.
Wednesday of this week, I searched the web for fellow artists who’ve gone through this, but I didn’t find very much at all. In later years Renoir had severe arthritis and couldn’t grip a brush. They’d tie a paintbrush to his hand so he could continue painting. For the first time, it seems like maybe it’s possible. Painting is in the eyes and the mind much more so than in the fingers. Though, as it turns out, the fingers really help.
Today, I did my own ponytail. I cleaned and refilled the hummingbird feeders. I did some laundry. And then I allowed myself 20 minutes to scribble out a funny little drawing. It’s something of a self portrait. I told Mike, I think it’s some combination of a rag doll and an autopsy. He looked at it and said, I think it’s you, stitching yourself back together.
I like that interpretation a lot.
July 16th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
It’s good to hear that your hand is healing. As an animator, I understand exactly what you were going thru. Keep up the good work. Everything will work out.
July 17th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Thanks so much Yuriy. excellent work on your blog, by the way.
Tonight I’m going to *paint* for the first time in weeks. I almost don’t remember how to start.
My hand feels better every single day. I guess the lesson I learned is: Don’t take your hands for granted!
July 22nd, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Oy! Poor Lorna! I’m so glad that it’s treatable.
I taught myself to paint left-handed in grad school due to a tendonitis wrist-thing. Like you say, painting is mostly in the brain, and with patience left hands work too. I’ve been trying to shift as many tasks as I can to the left hand so that the right can be used just for when I need it. Wood engraving class at the GNSI meeting–did it more than half the block as a leftie.
Your subsequent kimono painting is lovely. Keep it up, in a gentle nice hand-friendly way!
July 24th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
Thanks Katura, and somehow I’m not surprised to learn this about you. Lefty-woodcutting, that is hardcore! You really do learn to conserve your energy in the damaged hand. I either keep my right palm planted firmly on my knee, or bent behind my back so I don’t pick things up with it.
I’m getting really good at left-handed stuff - tonight I even used chopsticks as a lefty and didn’t drop anything! And being more patient is never a bad thing, for making art.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:02 pm
I read all however I am left handed but ambidexterous. I fell in a manhole in 2003 holding up my body weight of 170lbs on both wrist. I had surgery in Feby 05 for CTS after many steroid injection never worked. MRI shows that the left shoulder has a tear and needs Artherioscopic surgery. Yet to be done. The middle finger on my rt. hand trigger a while after surgery,the left followed soon. I held back using the left hand& it is much better than the rt. The rt. middle finger is shooting with pains non stop even through the nail. I can’t open the fridge, carry any weight that the finger has to fold. It cannot bend as we sp0eak. I have to bandage the finger & across the palm. I don’t take pain-killers but will try therapy.I sometimes use a pair of gardening gloves to prevent the finger fr
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:06 pm
from falling which is tremendous pain. I heard of new technology to correct without surgery, trying to make contact. Any suggestion for relief would be appreciated. Don’t take medication it is bad for your health, opt for therapy.