Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

finally some outside-the-box thinkers

Thursday, October 12th, 2006

box, solar system, whatever. someone finally published a paper correlating the mostly quite regular patterns of periodic extinctions to the earth’s position and rotation relative to the big life-giving fireball.

thank you thank you.

i’m still waiting for the chart of global warming as function of krispy kreme donuts consumed by al gore. used to like that guy, a lot, but these days, i’d file him under ‘road to hell is paved with good intentions’.

sparing you the big rant on this one, for today at least, if we’re going to really understand the biology of our planet, we must first stop acting like environmental imperialists. our ecosystem has been here much longer than we have, it’s seen greater threats than chevron.

humankind has always loved to overexaggerate its stunning strength and dominance over, well, everything. but perhaps the most inconvenient truth of all is this: progress will not ever happen until we stop infantilizing the environment, and begin acting as its appointed stewards.

Bagged! Or, really, it’s not always about you.

Wednesday, May 17th, 2006

You know how Ventura Boulevard has an endless, continous non-repeating pattern of the same set of stores? It’s like, Ralph’s, Starbucks, Target, Subway, 76, Taco Bell, McDonalds… then a few industrial looking buildings, and the pattern repeats again? I’ve always thought Ventura Boulevard was a lot like Pi, that way. All the same ten numbers, but with endless variation in pattern. At least until you hit, well, Ventura.

Montana Avenue in Santa Monica is kinda that way too, except instead of Ralph’s and Starbucks, the pattern is: bath soaps store, women’s clothing store, lunch place, jewelry store, foofy grocery store, children’s clothing store, stationers. It caters to the upper-crust urban Mom. There’s a word that describes Montana Ave pretty well. The word is “estrogeneric.”

Anyway.

So Mike and I were walking along Montana Avenue, discussing parking, and he’d been at the meter for just a little longer than the allowable 2 hours. I said that since he’d been there for about ten minutes too many, I had no doubt the parking mafia had marked his tires and he was going to be totally BAGGED.

A man walking past suddenly yelled “BITCH!”

There wasn’t anyone else around. He was yelling at me.

Wait. What’d I do?

I turned to look at the angry man. He was wearing a white mesh tanktop with a super fabulous billowy white jacket. Perfect haircut. Perfect abs. Perfect example of all that is both wonderful (and from the perspective of the fairer sex, tragic) about West Hollywood.

Super fabulous.

And he just called me a b-i-t-c-h, just after I said Mike was going to be BAGGED – maybe a little too loudly… but what could possibly merit that response?

Oh. My. God.

He must have heard me say a VERY different word.

Did he actually think I said that? He thought I shouted THAT? At HIM?

Oh.

Oh, no. No, no, no!

Now what? Should I run after him and explain? Just exactly how DO you explain that train of thought? Should I be mortified? I think I just really ruined someone’s day. Without even meaning to.

Fabulous White-Mesh Tanktop Man, if you’re out there, that’s not what I said. I’m not happy you thought that’s what I said, but the thing I’m REALLY not happy about is that it was an easy assumption that someone would yell that word, at all. Does that kind of thing happen on Montana? With the $800 stroller-pushing, yoga mama set?

Moral of the story: sometimes what you think you heard? Not what you heard. And if you’re easy to offend, please make sure you get your hearing checked regularly, especially before shouting bad things at other people. Especially before shouting bad things at ME.

And GOOD LORD! People of Los Angeles: It’s not always about YOU.

Not even if you’re really REALLY fabulous.

wtf / omg / lol

Monday, May 8th, 2006

So it started with a little anomaly in the stats.

Hundreds of referrals from Craigslist.

Hundreds.

Not just from one Craigslist. From Craigslists all over the place. And every link had been removed by the CL community, or sometimes by the staff.

WTF?

I dig around in the stats for a while. Ah-ha, there it is: vaio.jpg. Open up the photo.

OMG.

It’s a photo, of me, embracing a new vaio box with maybe a little too much love, but you know, cut me some slack. Things were bad for a while there, what with that Dell laptop that caught on fire, remember, in my lap. Then there was the replacement for that, which broke after a month or so, and then the replacement for that, which never caught on fire, but wasn’t so great either.

Anyway. I was glad to have that stupid little Vaio. It was the promise of Good Things To Come. At least, for a little while.

Ultimately that Vaio wouldn’t boot up unless you popped it in the freezer for 5 minutes or so. When I moved into an apartment with a side-by-side refrigerator/freezer, the 15″ screen didn’t fit anymore, and the machine hasn’t been turned on since.

But, I digress. Back to the mystery: Why were so many people from Craigslist hitting my server?

At last, the answer! Someone was using my picture to hawk some kind of laptop “giveaway.” Just go fill in your information at this website, and you’ll get your free vaio, just like I GOT MINE. (insert picture of unsuspecting internet idiot with vaio here)

So the thing is, I have access to this image. I can change it to whatever I want. Not feeling all that creative, here’s what I came up with. (My contribution is in green)

Anonymous Craigslist scamming dude still hasn’t figured it out. So here’s the LOL: while this is still up and running, do please offer up your best suggestions as to what else I should post instead of this image.

updated: Looks like our friend has moved on. Fun while it lasted!

Which came first, the chicken or the dinosaur?

Friday, April 7th, 2006

From news.com, a startling new expose on the decline of classic drawing skills due to the prevalence of design software.

Uhhmm.

So the basic idea is that design students can’t draw anymore, and it’s all the fault of those gdurned newfangled computers, see?

Except.

Starting somewhere around 1997, this amazing thing happened. Webpages started getting designed in Photoshop, instead of Pico (remember Pico?). Technology embraced design, enabled design, and finally, technology required design.

It’s always been a given that draftsmen and designers must have a solid understanding of their tools. Once, that meant you needed to know how to use pen and ink, how to use a Linotype, how to measure points-inches-picas for pasteup, how to get last minute stains out of a layout that was ready to go to film. Even before that, if you were an artist, you blended your own pigment. You stretched your own canvas. Throughout time, if you were a designer, you worked with materials, in the physical world, and necessarily you were a master of chemistry, of typography, of the hundred odd types of physical interactions between ink and substrate.

It’s not so different today. We have new technology – the mastery of tools has expanded. Some things are simpler. Lots of things aren’t. These days, you need to be a master of information technology, subtractive and additive color, color calibration, digital photography, of the hundred odd types of virtual interactions between different file formats and compression and what each one does to your work. And that’s long before you ever get to the ink and substrate.

You have to deal with saving things, Windows networking, running out of disk space, and backing up your work. You must be a master at machines and technology, and if you’re not, well, you’re at an extreme disadvantage. The truth underlying the article above is not that technology destroys drawing ability, but rather that technology still requires that designers focus their ability on becoming proficient in technology, not design.

To me, the worst thing about designing in Photoshop is it’s missing the tactile satisfaction of tearing off a used sheet of paper, something that didn’t work out, something you’ve been frustrated by, crumpling it up, making a lot of noise and thrashing all around, only to find a pristine, perfect fresh as a snowstorm brand new page underneath. All sins forgiven. Born again design. In Photoshop, all you get is CTRL+A, DELETE. There’s no ceremony. I’m not entirely sure the tradeoff was worth it, not even for unlimited undo.

So the world’s not as physical anymore. Communication is instant and virtual, digital photography is everywhere, and mastery of physical objects is less important to success. Moreover, the skill that allows someone to be a designer today is singularly this: the ability to successfully cope with technology – it’s a subset of patience with machines, an inclination towards engineering, a fearlessness and a willingness to forever put up with relearning tools. You want to get into design, you must sign a contract that says you will keep your brain plastic, you will keep relearning keyboard shortcuts with every new UI designer Photoshop goes through.

(Is it a coincidence that this same generation that’s grown up during daily exponential advances in technology is now confusing the previous understanding of what it means for a generation to grow up? What it even means to be a generation? From here on out, we have plastic generations, and that’s really wonderful. We were born into a time that requires we keep learning, that we keep open to change. We might be in our 30s, but still we expose ourselves to new experiences, new music, new styles, right alongside the 20-somethings.)

Anyway. Back to the point. I’ve been drawing ever since I could first hold a crayon. I’ve been working in software since before it was cool to work in software. I’ve been messing around with modems since the first time Reagan was in the Oval Office, so technically I should be a dinosaur. But: I was born to the Generation of Plasticity. I am addicted to the intersection of the material world and the virtual world. This year, I’ve been doing all the digital things that theoretically destroy drawing ability, and never before have I enjoyed so much crossover between the physical world of paint and charcoal dust, and the shadow-world of packets and pixels.

The truth is that I’ve learned more about good design from smushing burned-up grapevines around on mashed-up, dried-out wood pulp from one single figure drawing class with a really good teacher than I have learned in all the classes about form, function and how to lay things out. Photoshop doesn’t destroy drawing skills any more than having drawing skill destroys Photoshop ability.

I’ve learned so much design from old fashioned drawing, but it goes both ways – in Photoshop, I catch myself doing the same things I do while drawing, only subconsciously – add a slight gradient to dull an otherwise sharp point leading the eye off the page, manipulate contrast to suggest other shapes and forms. While drawing, I am confident in line and composition because of the hours I’ve spent playing in Photoshop. And the most important crossover point is to iterate, iterate, iterate – before you settle on that final layout, throw out at least 20 thumbnail sketches. Extra points if you do them on paper, crumple them up and play rough draft basketball with your trashcan. You sit on a computer at a desk all day, you need the excercise anyway!

A nit to pick…

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005

So I’m gradually in the process of starting up a new design on my blog. And it’s coming along, slowly but surely. I’ve used Blogger for the past five years, I love Blogger – I’ve even worked to bring photo software for Blogger to market. I’ll keep using Blogger for simple lists for a long time to come, but I’m biting the bullet and changing my main blog over to WordPress, specifically because I need the Categories and Pages feature that WordPress offers.

Since I’m changing authoring environments, what better time to change over to a new design? And my friends watch me wrangle with WordPress and say, Hey, you know there’s all kinds of tools to import your Blogger archives over to your new system!

Now here’s the thing I don’t get. My old blog is a piece of my history. It’s a slice of design in time, based on my skill level and my interests as well as the technology available at the time it was made. Sure, I could import my old posts, get a few more features, but I’d lose all the layout of my old blog, as it was when I first made and published it. Why would I want to lose all the history there?

So I’ll be archiving my old blog, exactly as it was at the time I stopped writing it: http://lornamatic.com/blogger/blog.htm. It’s a piece of my personal history, and maybe it means I’m sentimental. So be it. It’s not as if saving it takes up any closet space.